LOVE


I just recently got out of a relationship and it’s been hard not to think about them all the time. I really want to move on but it’s hard at the moment. Do you have a timetable on how long it takes to get over someone?

Sorry to read that you've been struggling with your break-up. Everyone handles them differently, which is why there's no real timetable when it comes to moving on. The important thing to know is that it's perfectly normal to think about an ex if you've recently split up with them. In fact, it would be weird if you didn't think about them at all; especially considering that this is still quite fresh. With time, you'll begin to think about them less. It may take weeks or even months, but it will eventually happen. To facilitate that process, try and reduce contact and avoid checking up on their social media. Also, don't be too idle during this time. Take up a new hobby to keep your mind occupied. Although break-ups are sad, they often give people the opportunity to focus more energy on themselves. Use this time as a period of self-development. It's hard to miss loving someone else when you're so focused on loving yourself!

In a woman's opinion how long do you think a man should wait until he proposes to his woman? Or what's the longest you think a woman should at least wait?

There's no set time. It really depends on the dynamic of the relationship. For example, I expect a couple that meet at 17 to court for much longer than a couple who meet at 27. I also expect a couple who are long distance to court for much longer than a couple who live together in the same city. All in all, I think a man should propose when he feels sure that his partner is the person he wants to spend the rest of his life with, and he is mentally prepared to begin that journey. As for women waiting, again, I can't give a set time. I think a lot of women know in their heart when they're waiting in vain/being strung along. I think once that feeling emerges, that's when a woman should move on.

I don’t know why I’m afraid to let go of my relationship, he gets mad at everything I say and shuts me out and it makes me anxious.

Your relationship doesn't sound particularly healthy. Relationships should be a safe haven...and anyone who is causing you to feel anxious or emotionally manipulating you, isn't worth the trouble. You need to identify why you're having trouble letting him go, especially as you know his behaviour isn't great. Is it fear of being alone? Do you feel he manipulates you in to staying? Understanding that is the first step to leaving the relationship. I wish you all the best and remember, you and your mental and physical health should always come first!