LIFE


What's your advice on self love and loving yourself? My confidence has been hit recently and slowly trying to get it back. I'm even trying to minimise social media use.

I'm so sad to read that your confidence has been hit. Here are a few tips on what I do when I'm feeling low:

  • Prioritise yourself. If you don't see yourself as a priority, it's easy for your confidence to feel knocked. Take some time out to focus on you and just you. Even if it means going MIA for a day, taking a vacation, booking a spa break or even locking yourself in your room and doing something you enjoy. 
  • Also, invest in yourself. Think about what you want to achieve in life and start taking actual steps to get there. It's easier said than done but I assure you that once you take the first few steps, things become easier. Maybe start a new hobby you've always wanted to try, go on a course or even start reading a book on a topic which is of interest to you. 
  • Stop comparing yourself to others. Just focus on you and your life alone. Comparison will only heighten unnecessary dissatisfaction. 
  • Try not to seek validation from others. Living a life based on validation means when people aren't feeding our ego, we feel purposeless. If you learn how to validate yourself, even when you're not being hyped up by others, you'll always feel like your life has a purpose. Also, don't dwell on critique. Critique is an inevitable part of life. People will never be 100% nice all of the time. Just remember that people's opinions don't shape you. You shape you. 
  • Explore your spirituality. This doesn't necessarily mean be religious. I just mean try and remove yourself from the 'physical' once in a while. If you don't believe in prayer, meditation is also good. There's an app called Headspace that is aimed at helping people de-stress and reduce anxiety/worries. I really recommend it if you've never meditated before.

As a guy, I try to be a feminist in all my actions. But when hateful rhetoric comes up I find myself wondering... I actually believe women are naturally superior, but still, saying men are trash hurts. How do we balance this?

I can totally see why the "men are trash" narrative is hurtful. Especially to men who aren't 'trash'. I think the important thing to remember is that not all women think like this and some women who do share this sentiment online, are joking around and don't truly believe it applies to all men.  My recommendation would be to continue as you are. Through being a man who demonstrates feminism in his actions, you're already disproving this narrative.  Also, don't worry about speaking up and calling women out when they generalise. It's all good being a woman fighting for female rights but it's illogical to negatively generalise an entire gender if that's the very thing you're fighting against.